Unleash your power
Dreams of destiny
I learned to harness the principle, I know call concentration of power. Most people have no idea of the giant capacity we can immediately comment when we focus all of our resources on mastering a single area in our life. Control focus is like a laser beam that can cut through anything that seemed to be stopping you. When we focus consistently on Improvement in areas, we develop unique Distinctions on how to make that area. Better one reason. So few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our Focus. We never concentrate our power, most people double their way through life. Never deciding to master anything in particular.
In fact, I believe most people fail in life because simply they major in minor things.
How to create lasting change.
- Raise your standards.
Anytime you sincerely want to change, The first thing you must do is to raise your standards.
- Change your limiting beliefs
if you raise standards but don't really believe you can meet them, you've already sabotage yourself. You won't even try; you'll be lacking that sense of certainty that allows you to tap the deepest capacity that commands, telling us how things are, what's possible and what's impossible, what we can and can not do. They shape every action, every belief system is central to making any real and lasting change in our lives. we must develop a sense of certainty that we can and will meet the new standards before we actually do.
- Change your strategy
the best strategy in almost any case is to find a role model, someone who's already getting the results you want, and then tap into their knowledge. Learn what they're doing, what their core beliefs are, and how they think. Not only will make you more effective, but it will also save you a huge amount of time because you won't have to reinvent the wheel. You can find-tune it, reshape it, and perhaps even make it better.
You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! you must take action.
coaches spent years focusing on a particular area of expertise, and they've continued to make key distinctions about how to produce results more quickly. By utilizing the strategies your coach shares with you, you can immediately and dramatically change your performance. Sometimes, your coach doesn't even tell you something new, but reminds you of what you already know, and then gets you to do it.
Decisions: The pathway to Power
"The most powerful way to shape our lives is to get ourselves to take action." The difference in the results that people produce comes down to what they've done differently from others in the same situations. Different actions produce different results. Why? because any action is a cause set in motion and its effect builds on past effects to move us in a definite direction. Every direction leads to an ultimate destination: our destiny,
Power of decision, Everything that happens in your life, both what you're thrilled with and what you're challenged by, began with a decision. I believe that it's in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.
It's our decisions, not the conditions of our lives, that determine our destiny. we know that there are people who were born with advantages, they've had genetic, environmental, family, relationship advantages. if we decide to, we can make our lives one of these inspiring examples how? Simply by making decisions today about how we're going to live in the future. * I decided who and what I was committed to having and being in my life. If you don't set a baseline standard for what you'll accept in your life, you'll find it's easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that's far below what you deserve.
Using the power of decision gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant. It can change your relationships, your working environment, your level of physical fitness, your income, and your emotional state. It can determine whether you're happy or sad, whether you're frustrated or excited, enslaved by circumstances, or expressing your freedom. Right now you can make a decision.
If you truly decide to, you can do almost anything. Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision. Decisions act as the source of both problems and incredible joys and opportunities. This is the power that sparks the process of turning the invisible into the visible. True decisions are the catalyst for turning our dreams into reality.
The most exciting thing about this force, this power, is that you already possess it.
"The ultimate success formula"
decide what you want
notice what's working or not
change your approach until you achieve what you want.
Deciding to produce a result causes events to be set in motion. If you simply decide what it is you want, get yourself to take action, learn from it, and change your approach then you will create the momentum to achieve the result. as soon as you truly commit to making something happen, the "how" will reveal itself.
Making a true decision means committing to achieving a result and then cutting yourself off from any other possibility
The way to make better decisions is to make more of them. then make sure you learn from each one, including those that don't seem to work out in the short term. they will provide valuable distinctions to make better evaluations and therefore decisions in the future. Realize that decision making, like any skill you focus on improving, gets better the more often you do it. The more often you make decisions, the more you'll realize that you truly are in control of your life. You'll look forward to future challenges and you'll see them as an opportunity to make new distinctions and move your life to the next level.
Information is power when it's acted upon and one of the criteria for a true decision is that action flows from it. * repetition is the mother of skill.* Distinctions empower us to make better decisions and therefore create the results that we desire for ourselves. Not having certain distinctions can cause you major pain.
Profound knowledge is any simple distinction, strategy, belief, skill, or tool that the minute we understand it, we can apply to make immediate increases in the quality of our lives.
"It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped" Anthony Robbins.
The three decisions that control your destiny are:
Your decisions about what to focus on.
Your decisions about what things mean to you.
Your decisions about what to do to create the results you desire.
It's not what's happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become. Rather, it's your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you're going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny.
It's likely that whatever challenges you have in your life currently could have been avoided by some better decisions upstream
your brain has already constructed an internal system for making decisions. This system acts like an invisible force, directing all of your thoughts, actions, and feelings, both good and bad, every moment that you live. it controls how you evaluate everything in your life, and it's largely driven by your subconscious mind. The scary thing is that most people never consciously set this system up. Instead, it's been installed through the years by sources as diverse as parents, peers, teachers, television, advertisers, and the culture at large. This system is comprised of five components.
your core beliefs and unconscious rules
your life values
the habitual questions
the emotional states you experience in each moment.
The synergistic relationship of these five elements exerts a force that's responsible for prompting you to or stopping you from taking action, causing you to anticipate or worry about the future, making you feel loved or rejected, and dictating your level of success and happiness. It determines why you do what you do and why you don't do some things that you know you need to do.
We don't have to allow the programming of our past to control our present and future.
"I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward." - thomas Edison
I have determined that no matter what decisions i make, I'll be flexible, look at the consequences, learn from them and use those lessons to ake better decisions in the future. Remember: Success truly is the result of good judgment. Good judgment is the result of experience, and experience is often the result of bad judgement.
We must commit to learning from our mistakes, rather than beating ourselves up, or we're destined to make the same mistakes again in the future.
As important as personal experience is, think how invaluable it is to have a role model as well, someone who's navigated the rapids before you and has a good map for you to follow. You can have a role model for you finances, relationships, health, profession, or any aspect of your life you're learning to master. They can save you years of pain and keep you from going over the falls.
Mastery takes as long as you want it to take.
No matter how prepared you are, there's one thing that i can absolutely guarantee: if you're on the river of life, it's likely you're going to hit a few rocks. That's not being negative, that's being accurate. The key is that when you do run aground, instead of beating yourself up for being such a "failure" remember that there are no failures in life. There are only results. If you didn't get the results you wanted, learn from this experience so that you have references about how to make better decisions in the future.
"We will either find a way, or make one" - HANNIBAL
One of the most important decisions you can make to ensure your long-term happiness is to decide to use whatever life gives you in the moment. The truth of the matter is that there's nothing you can't accomplish if:
- You clearly decide what it is that you're absolutely committed to achieving,
- You are willing to take massive action
- You notice what's working or not
- You continue to change your approach until you achieve what you want, using whatever life gives you along the way.
Sometimes when you make a decision and take action, in short term it may look like it's not working. In order to succeed, you must have a long-term focus. Success and failure are not over-night experiences. It's all the small decisions along the way that cause people to fail. It's failure to follow up. It's failure to take action , It's failure to persist. It's failure to manage our mental and emotional states. It's failure to control what we focus on. Conversely, success is the result of making small decisions, deciding to hold yourself to a higher standard, deciding to contribute, deciding to feed your mind rather than allowing the environment to control you, these small decisions create the life experience we call success. No Individual or organization that has become successful has done so with short-term focus.
Deciding to commit yourself to long-term results, rather than short term fixes, is as important as any decision you'll make in your lifetime. Failing to do this can cause not only massive financial or societal pain, but sometimes even the ultimate personal pain.
What seems impossible in the short term becomes very possible in the long term if you persist. In order to succeed, we need to discipline ourselves to consistently think long term.
Harness the power of decision
- Remember the true power of making decisions. A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided.
- Realize that the hardest step in achieving anything is making a true commitment, A true decision. Studies have shown that the most successful people make decisions rapidly because they are clear on their values and what they really want for their lives. The same studies show that they are slow to change their decisions, if at all. On the other hand, people who fail usually make decisions slowly and change their minds quickly, always bouncing back and forth. Just decide!
- Make decisions often. The more decisions you make, the better you're going to become at making them. Muscles get stronger with use, and so it is with your decision- making muscle.
- Learn from your decision. choose to learn lessons that can save you time, money or pain and that will give you the ability to succeed in the future.
- Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach. Don't become rigid in your approach. Cultivate the art of flexibility, stay open to alternate routes, make a map.
- Enjoy making decisions.
Know that it's your decisions, and not your conditions, that determine your destiny.
The force that shape your life
"The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you.If you do that, you're in control of your life, if you don't life controls you." Anthony Robbins.
If we link massive pain to any behavior or emotional pattern, we will avoid indulging in it at all costs. We can use this understanding to harness the force of pain and pleasure to change virtually anything in our lives.
What drives our behavior is instinctive reaction to pain and pleasure, not intellectual calculation. Intellectually, we may believe that eating chocolate is bad for us, but we'll still reach for it.Why?Because we're not driven so much pain and pleasure to in our nervous systems. It's our neuro-associations, the associations we've established in your nervous systems, that determine what we'll do. Although we'd like to believe it's our intellect that really drives us, in most cases our emotions, the sensations that we link to our thoughts, are what truly drive us. Many times we try to override the system. For a while we stick to a diet, We've finally pushed ourselves over the edge because we have so much pain. We will have solved the problem for the moment, but if we haven't eliminated the cause of the problem, it will resurface.
The truth is that we can learn to condition our minds, bodies and emotions to link pain or pleasure to whatever we choose. By changing what we link pain and pleasure to, we will instantly change our behaviors.
Any time we're in an intense emotional state, when we're feeling strong sensations of pain or pleasure, anything unique that occurs consistently will become neurologically linked.
If we want to take control of our Lives, we must learn to advertise in our own mind and we can do this in a moment. How by simply linking pain to the behaviors, we want to stop at such a high level of emotional intensity that we won't even consider those behaviors any longer.
aren't there things you would never, ever do? think of the sensations, you lose link to lose to those. If you link the same feeling and sensation to the behaviors you want to avoid, you'll never do them again, either. Then, simply link pleasure to the new Behavior You desire for yourself. through repetition and emotional intensity and you can In this behaviors within yourself until they are automatic.
The first step is simply becoming aware of the power that pain and pleasure exert over every decision, and therefore every action, that we take. The art of being aware is understanding that these linkages, between ideas, words, images, sounds and sensations of pain and pleasure are happening constantly.
The problem is that most of us base our decisions about what to do on what's going to create pain or pleasure in the short term instead of the long term. Yet, in order to succeed, most of the things that we value require us to be able to break through the wall of short term pain in order to have long term pleasure. You must put aside the passing moments of terror and temptation, and focus on what's most important in the long term, your values and personal standards. It's not actual pain that drives us, but our fear that something will lead to pain. And it's not actual pleasure that drives us, but our belief, our sense of certainty, that somehow taking a certain action will lead to pleasure. We're not driven by the reality but by our perception of reality.
Most of the things that are valuable in our lives require us to go against the basic conditioning of our nervous system. We must manage our fears by overriding this preconditioned set of responses and in many cases, we must transform that fear into power.
Let's make some changes right now
- First, write down four actions that you need to take that you've been putting off.
- Second under each of these actions, write down the answer to the following question: Why haven't I taken action? In the past, what pain have Ilinked to taking this action?
- Maybe the pain is simple:maybe it's the pain of taking time out of your busy schedule.
- Third, write down all the pleasure you've had in the past by indulging in this negative pattern.
- We need to find a new way to get the same pleasure without any negative consequences. Identifying the pleasure you've been getting will help you know what your target is.
- Fourth, write down what it will cost you if you don't change now.
- The final step is to write down all the pleasure you'll receive by taking each of these actions right now.
- Envision all the positive impacts both in the present and in the long term.
Belief Systems: The power to create and the power to destroy
It's not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean.
It's never the environment, it's never the events of our lives, but the meaning we attach to the events. How we interpret them, that shapes who we are today and who we'll become tomorrow. Beliefs are one of misery and devastation.
The challenge with all these beliefs is that they become limitation for future decisions about who you are and what you're capable of. We need to remember that most of our beliefs are generalizations about our past, based on our interpretations of painful and pleasurable experiences. The challenge is threefold :
- most of us do not consciously decide what we're going to believe
- often our beliefs are based on misinterpretation of past experiences and
- once we adopt a belief, we forget it's merely an interpretation. We begin to treat our beliefs as if they're realities.
Human beings are not random creatures, all of our actions are the result of our beliefs. Whatever we do, it is out of our conscious or unconscious beliefs about what will lead to pleasure or away from pain. If you want to create long term and consistent changes in your behaviors, you must change the beliefs that are holding you back.
Drugs are not always necessary, [but] belief in recovery is. - Norman cousins
Global beliefs are the giant beliefs we have about everything in our lives: beliefs about our identities, people, work, time, money, and life itself, for that matter.
We need to realize that our beliefs have the capacity to make us sick or make us healthy in a moment. Beliefs have been documented to affect our immune systems. And most importantly, beliefs can either give us the resolve to take action, or weaken and destroy our drive. Sometimes we develop beliefs that create limitations or strengths within a very specific context; for instance, how we feel about our ability to sing or dance, fix a car, or do calculus. Other beliefs are so generalized that they dominate virtually every aspect of our lives, either negatively or positively. I call these global beliefs.
The good news about this is that making one change in a limiting global belief you currently hold can change virtually every aspect of your life in a moment. Remember once accepted our beliefs become unquestioned command to our nervous system, and they have the power to expand or destroy the possibility of our present and future.
What is a belief?
A simple way of understanding a belief is to think about its basic building block: an idea. The more reference experiences supporting an idea, the stronger your belief will be in it.
With enough emotional intensity and repetition, our nervous systems experience something as real, even if it hasn't occurred yet.
An optimist operates with beliefs such as "the past doesn't equal the future". All the great leader, all people who have achieved success in any area of life, know the power of continuously pursuing their vision, even if all the details of how to achieve it aren't yet available. If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things that other people are certain are impossible.
No matter what happens in your life, you've got to be able to believe, "this, too shall pass" and that if you keep persisting, you'll find a way. Remember, as long as you believe something, your brain operates on automatic pilot, filtering any input from the environment and searching for references to validate your belief, regardless of what it is.
How to change a belief
The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this belief cost you pain in the past, but it's costing you in the present and ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. If we associate enough pain to anything, we'll change.
New experiences trigger change only if they cause us to question our beliefs. Remember, whenever we believe something, we no longer question it in any way.
If you question anything enough, eventually you'll begin to doubt it.
Belief has 3 categories, opinions, beliefs, convictions.
Opinion is something we feel relatively certain about, but the certainty is only temporary because it can be changed easily.
Belief is formed when we begin to develop a much larger base of reference legs, and especially reference leg about which we have strong emotion.
conviction primarily because of the emotional intensity a person links to an idea. not only feel certain, but get angry if their conviction is even questioned.
Often the best thing you can do to create mastery in any area of your life is to raise belief to the level of conviction. Remember, conviction has the power to drive you to action, to push you through all kinds of obstacles. Beliefs can do this as well, but some areas of your life may require the added emotional intensity of conviction.
How can you create a conviction?
- Start with the basic belief
- Reinforce your belief by adding new and more powerful references, The more references you develop and the more emotional the references are, the stronger your conviction will become.
- Then find a triggering event, or else create one of your own.
- Finally, take action. Each action you take strengths your commitment and raises the level of your emotional intensity and conviction.
Pain is the ultimate tool for shifting a belief
The way to expand our lives is to model the lives of those people who are already succeeding. It's powerful, it's fun and these people are available all around you. It's just a matter of asking questions.
Japanese principles and basic core belief is , a constant, never-ending commitment to consistently increase the quality of their business every single day would give them the power to dominate the markets of the world. The quality was not just a matter of meeting a certain standard, but rather was a living, breathing process of never-ending improvement. We've got to be constantly improving the quality of our lives, constantly growing and expanding.
The only true security in life comes from knowing that every single day you are improving yourself in someway, that you are increasing the caliber of who you are and that you are valuable to your company, your friends, and your family. I don't worry about maintaining the quality of my life, because everyday i work on improving it. I constantly strive to learn and to make new and more powerful distinctions about ways to add value to other people's lives. This gives me a sense of certainty that i can always learn, that I can always expand that i can always grow. At the end of each day ask yourself these questions. What have I learned today? What did I contribute or improve? What did I enjoy?
We may develop even more empowering beliefs, abandoning things we once felt certain about. Realize that your beliefs may change as you gather additional references. What really matters now is whether the beliefs you have today empower or dis-empower you. Begin today to develop the habit of focusing on the consequences of all your beliefs. Are they strengthening your foundation by moving you to action in the direction you desire or are they holding you back?
Leadership and the power of belief
Leaders are those individuals who live by empowering beliefs and teach others to tap their full capabilities by shifting the beliefs that have been limiting them.
Society may predict but only i will determine my destiny.
Can change happen in an instant?
To succeed in creating long-term change. Once we effect a change, we should reinforce it immediately. Then, we have to condition our nervous systems to succeed not just once, but consistently.
"Things do not change; we change" Henry david thoreau
The first belief we must have if we're going to create change quickly is that we can change now.
The second belief that you and I must have if we're going to create long term change is that we're responsible for our own change.
- First we must believe, "Something must change"
- Second, we must not only believe that things must change, but we must believe, "I must change it."
- Third, we have to believe. " I can change it"
We can analyze our problems for years, but nothing changes until we change the sensations we link to an experience in our nervous system, and we have to capacity to do this quickly and powerfully if we understand "the power of your brain"
Neuro-science: Your ticket to lasting change
Each time we experience a significant amount of pain or pleasure, our brains search for the cause and record it in our nervous systems to enable us to make better decisions about what to do in the future.
Anytime you experience significant amounts of pain or pleasure, your brain immediately searches for the cause.
- Your brain looks for something that appears to be unique.
- Your brain looks for something that seems to be happening simultaneously.
- Your brain looks for consistency
False neuro associations - that's why we must evaluate linkages before the become a part of our unconscious decision-making process. So often we blame the wrong cause, and thereby close ourselves off from possible solutions.
When you give your brain mixed messages, you're going to get mixed results.
How to change anything in your life using NAC (Neuro Associative Conditioning)
Nac 1 : Decide what you really want and what's preventing you from having it now.
The first step to creating any change is deciding what you do want so that you have something to move toward. The more specific you can be about what you want, the more clarity you will have, and the more power you will command to achieve what you want more rapidly.
Nac 2 : Get leverage : Associate massive pain to not changing Now and massive pleasure to the experience of changing Now!
Change is usually not a question of capability, it's almost always a question of motivation. The only way were going to make a change now is if we create a sense of urgency that's so intense that we're compelled to follow through. The greatest leverage you can create for yourself is the pain that comes from inside, not outside, knowing that you have failed to live up to your own standards for your life is the ultimate pain. The key is to get lots of reason or strong enough reasons, why the change should take place immediately.
Nac 3: Interrupt the limiting pattern
One of the best ways to interrupt someone's pattern is to do things they don't expect, thing's that are radically different from what they've experience before. Think of some of the ways you can interrupt your own pattern
Nac 4 : Create a new, empowering alternative
The failure by most people to find an alternative way of getting out of pain and into the feelings of pleasure is the major reason most people's attempts at change are only temporary
Nac 5 : Condition the new pattern until its consistent.
If you rehearse the new empowering alternative again and again with tremendous emotional intensity, you'll carve out a pathway and with even more repetition and emotion, it will become a part of your habitual behavior. Remember, your brain can't tell the difference between something you vividly imagine and something you actually experience.
Any pattern of emotion of behavior that is continually reinforced will become an automatic and conditional response. Anything we fail to reinforce will eventually dissipate.
Reinforcement is responding to a behavior immediately after it occurs, while punishment and reward may occur long afterwards
Create a "Jump-start"
- If someone who seems not to have done anything might is suddenly given a reward just out of compassion and carving this can stimulate them to take on new levels and types of behavior and performance.
- The minute you or anyone you want to reinforce, does something right. create immediate reward,
- Conditioning is critical this is how we produce consistent results. Once again, remember that any pattern of emotional behavior that is reinforced or rewarded on consistent will become conditioned and automatic. Any pattern that we fail to reinforce will eventually dissipate.
Nac 6 : Test it and see if it works
think about the situation that used to worry you and see that you no longer worry in this situation.
How to get what you really want
- A state can be defined as the son of millions of neurological process happening within us. Most of our states happen without any conscious direction on our part, we see something and we respond to it by going into a state.
- The state that you're in at any given moment determines your perceptions or reality and thus your decision and behavior in other words, your behavior is not the result of your ability but of the state that your in at this moment.
- 2 primary ways to change emotion state :
- changing the way you use your physical body.
- by changing your focus.
Physiology : The power of movement.
- emotion is created by motion
- the key to success is to create patterns of movement that create confidence, a sense of strength flexibility, a sense of personal power and fun.
Focus: The power of concentration.
- whatever we focus on becomes our idea of reality
- Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear.
- The most powerful way to control focus is the use of questions, For whatever you ask, your brain provide an answer, whatever you look for, you'll find.
- if there are things you need to accomplish but you can't get motivated, realized you're not in the appropriate state, that's not an excuse, though, that's a command. It's a command to do whatever it takes to change your state.
"Experience is not what happens to a man, It is what a man does with what happens to him"Aldous Huxley
- You've got to realize that you must take conscious control of running your own mind, You've got to do it deliberately otherwise, you're going to be at the mercy of what happened around you.
- You should be able to change state consistently in any environment.
- Establish asset of habitual patterns of using your physiology and focus so that you consistently feel good no matter where you are.
- Live your life in a way that causes you to feel tons of pleasure and ver little pain.
Questions are the answer
- We need to realize that most of what we do, day in and day out is ask and answer questions. So if we want to change the quality of our lives, we should change our habitual questions
- Successful people asked better questions, and as result, they got better answer
- quality question create quality life.
It's not only the questions you ask, but the questions you fail to ask that shape your destiny.
- A genuine quality of life comes from consistent, quality questions.
- Questions immediately change what we're focusing on and therefore how we feel.
- You and I can change how we feel in an instant. just by changing our focus.
- learning to ask empowering questions in moments of crisis is a critical skill
- Questions are the laser of human consciousness, they concentrate our focus and determine what we feel and do.
- If you're angry one of the best you could ask yourself is, "How can i learn from this problem so that this never happens again.
- At any moment, the questions that we ask ourselves shapes our perception of who we are, what we're willing to do to achieve our dreams learning to consciously control the questions you ask will take you further achieving your ultimate destiny than almost anything, often our resources are limited only by the questions, we ask ourselves.
The problem solving question.
- whats great about this problem?
- whats not perfect yet?
- what am i willing to do to make it the way i want it?
- What am i willing to no longer do in order to make it they i want it?
- How can i enjoy the process while i do what is necessary to make it the way i want it?
"he cannot ask cannot live"
The vocabulary of ultimate success.
- words you habitually choose also affect how you communicate with your self and therefore what you experience.
- people with an impoverished emotional life, people with rich vocabularies have multi hued palette of colors with which to paint their experience, not only for others but for themselves as well.
- Simply by changing your habitual vocabulary, the words you consistently use to describe the emotions of your life, you can instantaneously change how you think, feel, live.
- if we want to change our live and shape our destiny, we need to consciously select the words we're going to use and we need to constantly strive to expand our level of choice.
- It's important to realize that words shape our beliefs and impact our actions.
- if you don't have a way of representing, you can't experience it.
If an assemblage of words you're using is creating stats that dis-empower you, get rid of those words and replace them with those that empower you.
- The words we use a a corporate culture and as individual have a profound effect on our experience of reality.
- When ever we explain or communicate a concept by likening it to something else, we are using metaphor.
- we must take charge of our metaphors, not just to avoid the problems metaphors, but so that we can adopt the empowering metaphors as well.
- Just realize one global metaphor can instantly transform the way you look at your entire life. Just as transformation vocabulary, the power of metaphors is in their simplicity.
- Exercise metaphor.
- What is life? write down the metaphors you already chosen.
- Make a list of metaphors that you link to relationship or marriage.
- pick another area of your life that impact you the most.
- create new, more empowering metaphor.
- Finally decide that you are going to live with these new empowering metaphor for the next thirty days.
10 emotions of power
There are 4 basic ways in which people deal with emotion
- Avoidance - avoiding negative situations may protect you in the short term, it keeps you from feeling the very love, intimacy and connection that you desire the most. Learn to find the hidden, positive meaning in those things you once through we're negative emotion.
- denial - experiencing he message that your emotions are trying to give you will not make things better, the emotion simply increase their amperage, they intensify until you pay attention, try to understand them.
- Competition - "you think you got it bad?" let me tell you how bad I've got it"It literally become part of their identity, a way of being unique, they begin to pride themselves on being worse off then anyone else, must be avoided at all cost.
- Learning and using - if you want to make your life work you must make your emotions works for you.
- emotions are like an internal compass that points you toward the action, you must take to arrive at your goals.
- the emotions you once thought of as negative a merely a call to action.
You are the source of all your emotions, you are the one who creates them.
You don't need any special reason to feel good, you can just decide to feel good right now, simply because you're alive, simply because you want to.
If what you're doing is not producing the result you want and you have to change your approach.
Six step to Emotional mastery.
- Identify what you're really feeling, Ask yourself, begin to question your emotions.
- Acknowledge and appreciate, your emotions knowing they support you.
- if you're willing to trust your emotions, each and everyone you experience is there to support you in making a positive change, you'll feel yourself moving toward simple solution.
- Get curious about the message this emotion is offering you.
- getting curious helps you master your emotion, solve the challenge and prevent the same problem occur.
- get confident - the quickest simple and most powerful way to handle any emotion is to remember a time when you felt similar emotion and realize that you've successfully handled this emotion before.
- get certain you can handle this not only today but in the future too
- Repetitions of this with emotional intensity will create a neural pathway of certainty that you can easily deal with such challenge.
- get excited and take action
- get excited about the fact that you can easily handle this emotion and take some action right away to prove that you've handle it "kill the monster while it's little."
The 10 action signal.
Discomfort, uncomfortable emotion don't have a tremendous amount of intensity, but they do bother us and create the ragging sensation that thing are not quite right.
The message - boredom, impatience, unease, distress or mild embarrassment are all sending you message that something is off.
- solution - use the skill you've learned in this book to change state,
- Clarify what do you want
- refine your action. try difference approach.
Fear - fearful emotion concern, worry, anxiety, fright or terror
The message - fear is simply the anticipation that something that's going to happens soon needs to be prepared.
The solution - review what you were feeling fearful about and evaluate what you must do to prepare yourself mentally. Figure out best action.
Antidote to fear - you must make a decision to have faith knowing you've done to prepare for the fear, fear rarely come to fruition.
Hurt - usually generated by a sense of loss, often lash out at others, we need to hear the real message hurt us.
The message : hurt signal gives us is that we have an expectation that has not been met.
The solution - realize that in reality you may not have lost anything. Maybe what you need to lose is the false perception that this person is trying to hurt you.
- Ask yourself "is there a loss here?" or am i judging this situation too soon?
- to help get out of sense of hurt is to elegantly and appropriately communicate your feeling of loss to the person involved.
Anger - include everything from irritated, resentful, furious or enraged.
The message - an important rule or standard that you hold for your life has been violated by someone else or even by you.
The solution - realize that you may have misinterpreted the situation completely, other percent don't know what's important to you.
- ask yourself "in the long run, is it true this person cares about me? what can i learn from this? How can i communicate the importance of these standard that i hold for myself, and not violate my standard again.
Frustration - anytime we feel like roadblocks in our lives where we are continuously putting our effort but not receiving rewards.
The message is an exciting signal it means your brain believes you could be doing better than you currently are. by contrast, frustration is a very positive sign and the solution to your problem is within range but not working, you need to change you approach.
- The solution - realize frustration is your friend, brainstorm a new solution to get result.
- Get some input how to deal with this situation, find a role model, someone who has found away to get what you want.
- Get fascinated by what you can learn this challenge not only for today but future in away consume little energy and actually create joy.
Disappointment is the devastating feeling of being "let down"or that you're going to miss out on something forever.
The message - an expectation you've had is probably not going to happen time to change expectation to make them more appropriate for this situation and take action to set and achieve a new goal immediately and that is the solution.
The solution - 1. Immediately figure out something you can learn from this situation that could help in the future.
- set a new goal, something more inspiring and something you can make immediate progress.
- Realize that you may be judging to soon , often things or disappointed are only temporary, god's delay are not god's denials.
- realize that situation isn't reevaluate what you truly want, develop an even more effective plan to archive it.
- Most powerful antidote for disappointment is cultivating an attitude of positive expectancy about what will happen in the future, regardless of what happen in the past.
Guilt - must do to avoid in life and valuable. - the message - guilt tells you that you have violated one of your own highest standards, and that you must do something immediately to ensure that you're not going to violate again in the future. Guilt is the ultimate leverage for many people in changing behavior.
- the solution -
1) acknowledge that you have violated critical standard you hold for yourself.
2) commit that this behavior will never happen again. utilize it, don't wallow in it.
Inadequacy - this feeling of unworthiness occurs any time we feel we can't do something we should be able to do. - the message - you don't presently have a level of skill necessary for the task at hand, it's telling you need more info, understanding, strategies tools or confidence.
- the solution -
1) ask yourself "is this really an appropriate emotion for me to feel in this situation? am i really inadequate or do i have to change the way i'm perceiving things?"
2) whenever you feel inadequate appreciate the encouragement to improve, you're not perfect and you don't have to be.
3) Find a role model - who effective in the area in which you feel inadequate and get coaching from them.
- you're not inadequate, you may be untrained or unskilled but your not inadequate.
Overload / overwhelm - Grief, depression, helplessness are merely expression of overwhelm. - the message you need to reevaluate whats most important to you in this situation.
- the solution - 1. decide, what's the absolute, most important thing is for you to focus on.
- write down all things that are important for you to accomplish just putting them on paper will allow you to begin to feel a sense of control over what's going on.
- tackle the first thing on your list and continue until you mastered it.
- when you feel that it's appropriate to start letting go of an overwhelm emotion like grief start focusing on what you can control and realize that there must be some empowering meaning to it all.
10. loneliness. anything that makes us alone, apart, or separate.
- the message - you need connection with people
- the solution
1) remind yourself what's great about being lonely.
2) identify what kind of connection - reach out and make connection
"we must cultivate our garden" Think of your mind, you're motions, spirit as the ultimate garden. The way to ensure a bountiful nourishing harvet is to plan seed like love, warm and appreciation.
The 10 emotions of power
- love and warmth - all communication is either a loving response or a cry for help. if someone comes to you in a state of hurt or anger, and you consistently respond them with love and warmth, eventually their state will change and their intensity will melt away.
- Appreciation and gratitude - living in this emotional state will enhanve your life more than anything I know of. Cultivating this is cultivating life. live with an attitude of gratitude.
- Curiosity - if you want to cure boredom, be curious. If you're curious, nothing is a chore. Cultivate curiosity and life becomes an unending study of joy.
- Excitement and passion - passion can turn any challenge into tremendous opportunity. Passion is unbridled power to move our lives forward at a faster tempo than ever before flow do we get passion? we decide to feel it.
- Determination . acting with determination means making a congruent, committed decision where you've cut off any other possibility.
- Flexibility . choosing to be flexible is choosing to be happy, there will be times that you will not be able to control. The read that bends will survive the windstorm, while the mighty oak will crack.
- Confidence - one way to develop faith and confidence is to simply practice it. So practice confidence by using it constantly and u'll be amazed at the dividend, it reaps in every area of your life the ability to act on faith is what moves the human race forward.
- cheerfulness - enhances your self esteem, makes life more fun and makes the people around you feel happier as well. has the power to eliminate the feeling of fear, hurt, anger, frustration, disappointment, depression, guilt and inadequacy in your life. Being cheerful means you're incredibly intelligent because u know that if you live life in a state of pleasure. one that so intense that you transmit a sense of joy to those around you.
- vitality . sitting doesn't preserve energy, that's usually when you feel most tired, the human nervous system needs to move to have energy. So realize that sense of vitality is critical emotion to cultivate in order to handle virtually any emotions that com up in your life.
Contribution - the secret to living is giving.
10 action signal 10 power
- discomfort - 1. love and warmth
- fear - 2. appreciation and gratitude
- hurt - 3. curiosity
- .anger -4. excitement and passion
- frustration - 5. determination
- disappointment 6. flexibility
- guilt - 7. confidence
- inadequacy - 8. cheerfulness
- overload overwhelm - 9. vitality
- loneliness 10 contribution
- if you're feeling uncomfortable emotion, then love and warmth will make changing that emotion much simpler. if you're feeling fearful, then a sense of gratitude wipes that emotion out. If you're feeling hurt and then get curious about whats going on that replace the sense of hurt. If you're feeling angry and you turn that emotional intensity into directed excitement and passion think what you can accomplish! Frustration can be broken through with the use of determination. disappointment can be dissolved by being flexible in our approach. Guilt disappears the minute you become confident that you're going to stick to your new standard. Inadequacy departs when you're feeling cheerful, a sense of overload disappear with the sense of personal power and vitality. Loneliness melts away the moment you figure out how to contribute to others.
The magnificent obsession - creating a compelling future
- Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.
- All goal setting must be immediately followed by both the development of plan and massive and consistent action toward its fulfillment
- you need to acknowledge the need that all human being have for constant never ending improvement.
- Failing to achieve your goal can mean achieving your read goals.
- it's not just getting a goal that matters but the quality of life you experience along the way.
- instead of measuring your success and failure in life by your ability to achieve an individualized and specific goal, remember that the direction we're heading is more important than individual results, we may not only achieve the goals we're pursuing but a lot more.
- sometimes we need to trust that our disappointment may be opportunities in disguise.
- remember that goals are dreams with a deadline.
- to make goals real at least twice a day rehearse and emotionally enjoy the experience of achieving one goals.
- the most important thing to achieve your goals, is to make sure that as soon as you set them, you immediately begin to create momentum then to never leave the site of setting goal without first taking some form of positive action towards it's attainment.
- start evaluating now what steps you must take.- remember, you meed to experience the feeling of achieving your top one year goal in each of four categories at least once a day.
The ten day mental challenge.
- the mark of a champion is consistency.
- in order to take our lives to the next level, we must realize that the same pattern of thinking that has gotten us to where we are will not get us to where we want to go.
- A new level of thinking is now required in order to experience a new level of personal and professional success.
- a mental diet is an opportunity to eliminate the negative and destructive pattern of thinking and feeling that inevitably come from living an emotionally reactionary and mentally undisciplined fashion.
- success is processional it's the result of a series of small disciplines that lead us into habitual patterns of success that no longer require consistent will or effort.
Ultimate influence - your master system.
- remember that different things are important to different people and they'll evaluate what's happening differently based upon their perspective and conditioning.
- wealth is the result of effective evaluations.
- if someone is doing better than we are in any area of life, it's simply because they have a better way of evaluating what things mean and what they should do about it.
Global belief - "i am the source of all my emotions. nothing and no one can change how i feel except me. if i find myself in reaction to anything, i can change it any moment.
Life values - your personal compass
- we must get clear about what is values, no matters what happens.- The only way for us to have long term happiness is to live by our highest ideals, consistently act in accordance with what we believe our life is truly about.
- Anytime you have difficulty making an important decision, you can be sure that it's the result of being unclear about your values.
Rules - if you're not happy, Here's why.
- Nothing has to happen in order for you to feel good.- As long as we structure our lives in away where our happiness is dependent upon something we cannot control then we will experience pain.
- How do we know if a rule empowers or dis empowers us?
1. it's a dis-empowering if its impossible to meet.
2. a rule is dis-empowering if something that you can't control determines your rule has been met or not.
3. a rule is dis-empowering if it gives you only few ways to feel good and lots of ways to feel bad.
- if you ever feel angry or upset with someone, remember it's your rules that are upsetting you, not their behavior.- Don't expect people to live by your rules if you don't clearly communicate what they are.- Design your rules so that you're in control, so that your side world is not what determines whether you feel good or bad. set it up so that it's incredibly easy for you to feel good and hard to feel bad.
References - the fabric of life.
The larger the number and greater the quality or our potential level of choices, enable us to mere effectively evaluate what things mean and what we can do.
- References are all experiences of your life that you've recorded within your nervous system.
- The key is to expand the references that area available within your life. Consciously seek out experiences that expand your sense of who you are and what your capable of as well as organize your references in empowering ways.
- the way we use our references will determine how we feel because whether something is good or bad is all based on what you're comparing to
- imagination is ten times more potent than your will power. unleashes a sense of certainty and vision that goes far beyond limitation.
- limited references create a limited life. if you want to expand your life, you must expand your references by pursuing ideas and experiences that wouldn't be a part of your life if you didn't consciously seek them out.
- remember, is's the moments of our lives that shapes us. if up to us to pursue and create the moments that will lift us and not limit us.
Identity : the key to expansion
- identity is simply the beliefs that we use to define our own individuality what makes us unique - good, bad or indifferent from other individuals.
- As we develop new belief about who we are, our behavior will change to support the new identity.
- your identity is nothing but the decisions you've decided to fuse yourself with. you become the label you've given yourself. The way you define your identity defines your life.
- A change in your habitual questions alone will change your focus and change your life. Making shifts in your values hierarchies will immediately change the direction of your life cultivating powerful, resourceful states in your physiology will change the way you think and the way you feel. This alone can change your identity. So could changing some of our global beliefs. Pursuing additional references will provide the raw materials for assembling a new experience of who you are. And certainly deciding to expand your identity could transform virtually everything.
Physical Destiny : Prison of pain or palace of pleasure
- Fitness is "the physical ability to perform athletic activity" Health however, is defined as the state where all the system of the body, nervous, muscular, skeletal, circulatory etc are working in an optimal way.
- Aerobic means "with oxygen" and refers to moderate exercise sustained ever a period of time. Aerobic system is your system for endurance, encompasses, the heart, lungs blood vessels etc.
- Anaerobic " without oxygen" and refers to exercises that produce short burst of power. Anaerobic exercise burn glycogen as its primary fuel. While cause the body to store fat.
- Properly developing your aerobic system will not only make you a better athlete, also burn off the extra fat from your hips, improve your immunie system, more energy. It's a way to build your total health and fitness through both the proper conditioning of your metabolism for aerobic and whe appropriate anaerobic training.
- When you begin to work out at a pace which immediately throws your body into anaerobic capacity, a very dangerous thing can occur.
- The key is to train your metabolism to consistently operate aerobic fashion. your body won't burn fat unless you specifically train to do so. Thus, if you want to lose that persistent layer of fat around your midsection. you must train, your body to burn fat, not sugar.
- Computing your ideal heat rate 180 - your age = ideal heart rate.
1. it's advisable to wear a heart rate monitor, then warm up gradually to reach your optimum aerobic training zone.
2. exercise within your aerobic training zone for almost 20 min, ideally wonking up to thirty to forty five minutes.
3. take twelve to fifteen minutes to cool down appropriately by waking or some form of mild movement.
- you'll love working out this way because it produce pleasure and no pain
- you'll experience a level of physical vitality you've never felt before.
- if we can maintain and improve endurance info our golden years we do not have to be frailin our old age.
- Exercise can become a positive addiction.
Relationship destiny - the place to share and care.
- If you don't know the values and rules of the people with whom you share a relationship, you should prepare from pain.
- In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.
Financial destiny - small steps to a small ( or large ) fortune.
- ability to take something that has very little value and convert it into something significantly greater value.
- All wealth begins in the mind.
5 fundamental lesson for creating lasting wealth
- The ability to earn more income than ever before, the ability to create wealth, the key to wealth is to be more valuable devise a way to consistently add real value to people lives and you will prosper.
- The true purpose of any corporation is to create products and services that increase the quality of life for all the customers the serve.
- the more value you contribute, the more you will earn if you put yourself in the position to do so.
- Adding a value is not just creating products. it's finding a way to make sure that more people experience an increase in the quality of life.
- True contribution makes life richer, so don't limit yourself to adding value strictly for personal gain.
2. Maintain your wealth
- Spend less than you earn and invest the difference.
3. increase your wealth
- reinvest your returns for compounded growth.
4. protect your wealth
5. enjoy your wealth
- when you discover ways to contribute that are proportionate to your income, you will tap into one greatest joys in life.
- The beauty of thing is that by giving away a portion of what you earn, you are teaching your brain that you have more than enough.
Be impeccable : your code of conduct.
- list of states you are committed to experience every day to live in accordance yo your highest principle and values.
Master your time and your life.
- In stressed and overloaded state, take control of the time frame you're focusing upon if the present is stressful then become more resourceful in dealing with your challenges by focusing on the future and the successful completion of the task before you. This new focus will instantly change your state and give you the resources you need to turn things around in present.
- Stress is so often the result of feeling "stuck" in a particular time frame.
- write a to do list that prioritize according to importance instead of urgency
Rest and play - The ultimate challenge what one person can do
- nothing could be more crippling to a person's ability to take action than learn helplessness. It is the primary obstacle that prevents us from changing our lives or taking action to help other people change theirs. You have the power right now to control how you think, feel and do.
- It is the small decisions you and I can make everyday that create our destinies remember that all decisions are followed by consequences.
- Anyone can virtually make a difference, the only limit to your impact is your imagination and commitment.
- A hero is a person who courageously contributes under even the most trying circumstances, a hero is an individual who acts unselfishly and who demands more from himself than others would expect, a hero is a person who defies adversity by doing what they believe is right in spite of fear.
- We must teach our children the consequences of their actions. Don't let them ever fall into the trap of thinking that their actions don't make a difference even small decisions and small actions, consistently made, have far reaching consequences.
- If you want to play the game and win you've got to play "full out" you've got to willing to feel stupid and you've got to be willing to try things that might not work and if they don't work and be willing to change your approach otherwise, how could you innovate, grow, discover who you are