Father has passed away

My father has a lump in his liver, we had gone to the doctor but they said it was a cancer. His stomach always full of liquid ( says the doctor ) but other doctor it's full of gas. He was treated in the hospital (RSCM) 2 times because of his low blood (HB). I learned that when treated in hospital they wouldn't treat his sickness because they were focused on getting the blood higher to 9 or 10 (HB) then they would operate ( endoscopic ), he need to be unconscious one... I agreed on this because his poop was black that was an indication that there's a rupture, after the operation they (RSCM) would leave my father in the pickup patient unconscious waiting for the nurse to pick him up... this is when I was there, we got left out about 3 hours just waiting for the nurse to come and get my father back to his room. I was so pissed because this hospital doesn't care about their patients, well the reason was there was life and death situation... pfft yeah. The result of endoscopic was everything was okay there's no rupture anywhere so we can go home.

The second time he was there, the symptoms was the same ( low blood HB) as instructed by the doctor. So I went there 3 days late, while my dad got transfusion blood getting prepared for another endoscopic, this time i refuse to do this operation because the indication of his sickness was low blood HB not black poop, the risk was even this was small operation there was still risk of something happen so i wouldn't let that happen. So we can go back home the day after because there's nothing left to do in the hospital because they wouldn't care about the sickness my father have but make him low blood to normal blood. Also the nurse when we were to go back my father bled because the nurse wasn't prepared and takes to much time to go back... RSCM nurse for you

The thing I learned from this was, because we were using BPJS there might be slight discrimination, well they took care of my father but it wasn't 100% it was more 40% take care of patient. I would suggest anyone close to me to get an insurance...

Few weeks later, my father died on the 7th March 2020, two days after his birthday... So this is what we do as his children's, my sister went to Pak RT and tell everything ( this is what you need to do ) then after that he will take care of everything like closing the road, getting chairs for when other are coming and the ambulance. After I arrived, we had to think where we should bury him, so Pak RT and me we went for a ride where we went meet the cemetery manager... So I had to choice Tanah Kusir or the one in here ( rawa mangun timur ) in here cost about 3.5 mill because we are from tanggerang kota not tanggerang selatan WTF there was a border near our place that separates us, if we were in tanggerang selatan it will cost us about 1.5 mill, So Tanah Kusir or here, as I see it Tanah kusir is a bit far and will cost much more and don't even know when will it be ready, as in here they would be ready today, so we took this one because it's close too.

Then later on we do cleaning my father, there was a slight different belief. Learned this, the one who should do the cleaning should be the family not other before was not because there was one that is not. Also Learned before we go to burial, I, as the first son needed to tell the guest that if there were a problem / money he own, we would be open for discussion.

At Dhuzur we went to the mosque where my father always pray, where also his friends are, they were also welcoming and would like to help the pray after dhuzur for "sholat jenazah" then we went to the cemetery for the funeral. In there as the first son, I had to go down, and help the other put my father below, luckily there was Nico (I think it was my sister's ex) which was not even a family help me put him down. After we bury him there was a group of my fathers friend from the mosque that would say a prayer, their belief is a bit different from others, they would now do the 'tahlilan', well as a son I would respect my father's belief on not to do the 'tahlilan'


For the first time in 4 years, I went to father's grave. Why it took so long is because I didn't know what to pray or say upon arriving at his grave. Before that I asked mom for what to say when going to his grave. So we just need to read, Al Fatihah, Al Ikhlas, Al Falaq and buy some chopped up flowers to add on top of his grave.

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